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razzledazzy:

MOM HANDED ME A BIG ENVELOPE SAYING I GOT IT IN THE MAIL AND BEING A SMART ASS I SAID ‘WHAT IS IT FROM THE PRESIDENT’ AND IT’S FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE

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APPARENTLY THEY SENT THIS BACK BECAUSE I WAS A SHIT AND INVITED THEM TO MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

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r3tardis:

Where can i hire someone to give me money

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500daysofsassy:

brooksoglesby:

so apparently some guy goes around golf tournaments and shouts “mashed potatoes” after they tee off

I CANTG BR EATHE 

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